Saturday, March 30, 2013

I will never be a mother-in-law and I don't care :)




There is one traditional pastry that we always eat for all major holidays (Christmas, Easter...) - potica. Really delicious (sweet, with walnuts).

My mother in law asked me today, while baking potica: "Are you going to bake it yourself, later on at home?" And I replied "No, I don't have to, since I have a mother-in-law."

And her reply was: "Well, when you become mother-in-law yourself, then you will have to bake it."

(my mother-in-law is already 80, she has serious dementia (Alzheimer, early stage), so she doesn't know any more, that I am beyond the age of having kids).

Her reply didn't make me sad.

I am still sad sometimes that I will never be a mother.

But I really do not care that I will never be a mother-in-law :)

Monday, March 25, 2013

To survive today

Reminder for today:  do not listen to the radio, don't watch TV, don't go on FB today.

In this part of Europe we celebrate mother's day today.

So - you know what I am talking about.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Since I don't have any children any more

I have to write down extra cute & sad story  that my husband told me today.

He visited a client and while chatting they discovered they have something in common: both of them have a  sick dog (her dog is actually much sicker then ours).

The client said: "Since I don't have any children any more, this dog means so much to me" and then she started crying.

I feel sorry for her and for the dog.

But what I found so interesting is her sentence. Because she does have children (my age) and she does have lots of grandchildren. So I found this sentence so interesting...

(I know she wanted actually to say that her children do not live at home any more... but I still found her sentence cute )

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The last time I mention adoption on my blog

Here it is, a promise: this is the last time that I mention adoption on my blog.

It was never a question whether to adopt or not for me & my DH. We are both absolutely sure,  that living childless is the only option for us, if we want to find our happiness again. 

But it bothers me - people that I know, asking why we don't just adopt. Such a rude and hurtful question.

Today I read a sad story about parents who lost two sons. So sad, I feel sorry for them.

I guess nobody would be rude enough to advise them to adopt. This comment would be extremely mean, everybody knows that.

But why do not people understand, that it is not OK to ask me, why I don't adopt? I am not OK with this question and I will never be.

***
Spring is coming, sun will be there during the weekend. I am looking forward to it! It is high time for spring sun & jogging & positive thinking.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Tulips





I planted 10 tulip bulbs on the balcony in autumn. Just yesterday I noticed that I have 10 small  tulips.  I am looking forward to having beautiful 10 tulips of mixed colours in few weeks!

When admiring small tulips an ugly thought crossed my mind. How come that I had more then 10 embryos transferred and not even one could live? 

***
When I started to blog my husband kept asking me: But what will you write about (he obviously knew that I wanted to write about life after infertility). Infertility scared me for life. Yes, I have plenty to write about...

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Habemus Papam




How exciting - we just got a new pope!

I am not really religious. But Catholicism is the major religion in my country, so election of the new pope it is something I find interesting.

I never go to church in my country.

But when I am travelling, especially alone, for work, I love to visit basilicas and cathedrals. I like to sit down and find peace there.

I visited a beautiful cathedral on my last business trip. I visited this cathedral for at least ten times since I travel to that city often. And for the last 8 years I remember I was always asking God only for one thing: to give us a child.

It felt liberating this time. Sitting in the quiet cathedral, not asking for a child. All I asked for was health and love and peace at my heart. I know. I asked a lot.

PS: The photo was taken by me, in Vatican, two years ago. I spent some lovely days with DH in Rome then.

PPS: Home, sweet home. It is nice to be back.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Greetings from my beloved Wolf




Photo from today's walk.
It was beautiful. I love the combination of snow & sun & the beloved Wolf & DH & Sunday.
The Wolf says thank you for all your kind wishes.